Thursday, May 19, 2005

Expectations...

I've just read JY's blog and it sounded like she' going through a rough patch... Did sound really bitter and feels like the optimism has exit her for awhile. Just want to say that, aren't we all expected to do stuffs all the time? People comment on what we do right and wrong, expects us to do better or worse... But the point is, they are not you, what they think are right, perhaps just don't suit your style? Perhaps that selfish thinking... but we have to know why we are here for? To fulfil other people's expectations or to have a life of our own.

When we're in school, we're expected to get good grades. When we go to work, we're expected to earn the big bucks and bring them home. But where does this fit into our lives? Perhaps only a small part... I'm such a believer that life's much more than going through the motions, and living for someone else though in some ways I'm guilty of it. It's your life, you decide how you want to live it, it's call self determination in social work terms... The point is... You can't let anyone tell you want to do with your life. Even our parents... let me explain that...

You see, our parents may know us better than ourselves because they watch you grow up and always do thing that they think are for our good. We all know our parents love us, and we love them too... we respect them for giving us what we have today and being who we are, so naturally at this point of life, when we're capable, we'll like to do something for them in return. We try hard to meet their demands just to let them feel proud of you. A big part of my life is about my family, they have the greatest influence on me. However, as I grow up, I've learnt that there are things that I want to do that clashes with what my mom would like for me to do.

Well, anyway, things happened my mom's way and it didn't work out. My mind set was all wrong and I didn't put in effort because that's not what I want to do. So... my mom and me sat down and had a chat. I told her what I really want to do and showed her that by making me do something that I have no interest in makes me really reluctant. So my mom gave me a chance to finally decide for myself, so hopefully I don't disappoint her and I also want to prove to her that she didn't make a mistake for having more faith in myself.

Perhaps one way to avoid unrealistic demands and expectations is good communication... I told my mother what I want for myself, what are the things that I can and cannot do. My mom has stopped making demands on me and my sister now, she just encourage us to do what we can and not pressure ourselves with work and let our well being suffer. I think my mom's more liberal now, and if took one mistake for her to realise that she was too up tight, I think its worthwhile. We're all happy with what we've got and its something to cheer about.

Life's not about making unrealistic demands or making taken for granted expectations for others.

Posted by Piglet at 3:14 PM