Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Tolerance - An art indeed...

I've come to realised that Tolerance is very important when you don't have respect for someone... When someone's not worth your respect, tolerating with their appalling behaviour (subjective definition of appalling) is definitely the best way out for me...

I've learnt in social work that social workers have to work with Strengths perspective, that is to look out for things that are positive about a person and avoid problem saturation. However, one of the limitation of this perspective is that, sometimes, you may just never find anything good about a person!! I don't deny, I'm biased in my opinions. I won't generalise to say that everyone's perspective is the same, but for me, my opinions come from the traits that I see a person is displaying as well as hearing it from other people. And if... the one and only good thing about this person is not significant enough to make up for his/her flaws... It can be hard to change my views about this person...

I do try... to a certain extent, however, they don't call it interpersonal rapports for nothing... It's a two way process... I try (at least I think I have) to accept the person for who he/she is, but what is screaming at me are the negativities... No matter how bo chup my character is, I still get pissed when the plug is tripped... I'm not finding and excuse for how I'm feeling for this person.

Then again... It could be my bo chup personality that make me appear indifference and arrogant which can be misleading to people who don't know me well? Jy has said I am 'dao' to people who I'm not close to... I don't really deny that, I can't be nice to people who I'm not close too or don't like. I am not a big advocate for hyprocritism...

I realised throughout the years that it's hard being a people person, telling different things to different people, at the right place and the right time... You tend to lose yourself, the true YOU... It's nice to have everyone to like you and all, trying to help everyone you know... It's nice to be tactful, at least you won't step on anyone's toes... but to me, it's just not genuine, we're forced into a situation where cannot be truthful about our emotions. I can't say, "I think you sucked big time becos you throw tantrums to get what you want...ever heard of ask and you shall get...?" because I don't want to jeopardise my good reputation and break the record of being the coolest cucumber... So I tolerate with dodgey attitudes and get on with my life...

It's really an art isn't it, trying to tolerate someone, treating that some one as invisible and pretending you can't hear what that person's actually saying... life's so down....

Posted by Piglet at 4:23 PM

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