Tuesday, July 19, 2005

My Last Week

It's the last Monday of the winter holidays, at this time next week I'll be back in cold Aussie. I really can't bear leaving, I keep asking Vin, "Can I don't go back?" he will say, "Don't go lor..." As if it's that's easy. It's usually at the last week that I feel really terrible, I know I should make the best out of it, but it is not possible to feel as gleeful as week one.

Thinking about how the situation is going to be when I go back to Aussie, makes me really sick. There is going to be a change in the arrangements of housemates, rents and living conditions. The thought of it makes me want to puke... I hate changes, sadly, it's one thing I cannot avoid. People are always coming and leaving, I'm always moving and getting use to new environment. I'm not an iguana, I'm a human. Damn it! Getting to know new people is one thing, learning to LIVE with new people is another. Imagine a couple who are suppose to be deeply in love have just got married, can fall out with each other after living together, because they found out about each other's bad habit at home. Home is a place we go back to for comfort and to be ourselves, if I have to behave the way I do when I'm outside even when I'm at home, I hardly get a rest. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the best, I'm a light sleeper, I just hope I get my beauty sleep with my new housemates and I'll be the happiest and nicest housemate anyone can have.

It's also during this last week of my vacation that I feel that there are a lot of things that I should have done and did not. Then again, it's not humanly possible to do everything I want to do within 1 month. I'm being realistic and optimistic now, this gives me something to look forward to when I come back for my next holiday.

Sometimes I can't help feeling that I didn't spend enough time with everyone. Just because I don't have a lot of time, I tried to meet up with everyone and sometimes I squeeze 2 outings in a day. E.g. I meet TJ in the afternoon and then meet JY in the evening after work. I feel bad that I didn't spend enough time with TJ and to make it worse, we didn't even take much photos together. Honestly I'm not too worried about JY, I have tonnes of her photos in my pc (Which indirectly mean that I go out with her very very often). Perhaps I just suck at juggling my time spent with friends. They are all very important to me that I need to spend like a whole day with them until we're all so tired that if we don't go home now, we're going to fall asleep on the pavements.

At the same time, I also felt that I didn't spend enough time with my family. Although I make it a point to have lunch or dinner with my mother everyday. If I'm going out for the evening, I'll make sure I stay home for lunch, and similarly, if I'm having lunch with my friends, I'll go home for dinner. My mom's busy with work and her own leisure activities too, it's good to see that she's so actively involve with what she love to do. She's obviously a happier person now as compared to 10 yrs ago. We are able to communicate better now, she's become more open minded and able to carry out a conversation without judging. I didn't really spend much time with my sister either. Apart from the times we spend watching 娱乐百分百, having supper together and shopping together, we didn't really hang out a lot. Probably because she's busy with her school work too. However, I really must say, we crapped alot, gossiped alot and shared girly tips. We used to quarrel a lot and scream at each other alot in the past, but now, we just crap a lot.

Ok... I know I talk like I'm going away for very long, which I'm not. It's just another 16weeks and I'll be back. So why the heck am I speaking like I'm going away for a really long time? I don't know! I just feel sad perhaps? Although I've been coming and going for many times now, it's the kind of feeling that one will never get used to. Like I'll never get immune to the euphoria of coming back, it's impossible to sleep the night before I come back simply because I'm too hyped to feel tired. Similarly, I can't help but find it unbearable to leave and I feel depressed. Not as heart wrenching as the first time I left, but still...

So much for a soppy post now... I know everything will happen no matter how I feel, and I also know that everything will sink in once I start going to back school and into the battle field. Of cos I know as well, that I will still have time to feel homesick...

Posted by Piglet at 12:47 AM

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