Friday, August 05, 2005

My life so far..

is really really boring...

I've been going to going dilligently everyday and then coming back home to watch my Hong Kong series. I watched the last of the lot today, the final few episodes had me wasted half a box of tissue I just bought. In fact, I just finished watching them today, my eyes are still sore from excessive crying.

Have I mentioned?

I really hate sad endings! If I know a show has sad ending in advance I would rather NOT watch it than to risk crying my eyes out. The show that I've been watching has a SAD SAD SAD ending, someone died! Just when he's finally going to pak tor with the woman he loved since Secondary school and JUST when he finally found his long lost son! Why the heck did he have to die? I really don't mind a "aiya, I knew it..." ending lor... I really can't believe that the script-writer had to end such a perfect story with a SAD ending! Damn it...!!

Anyway, my mom called today and told me that one of my relative is back for holiday. She's been working at Sydney and has went back to Singapore for a 10 days vacation. Anyway, my mom told me something that really make my blood boil. The relative came back and saw my grandmother and commented on her hair and bloated face.

My grandmother was diagnose with slight senile dementia, and hasn't been on her best self after she was discharged from hospital last year before chinese new year. She's making recovery, but due to the medication that was prescribe, there are some side effects. Her face is slightly bloated and due to infection, her hair doesn't look as cool as it use to. We are all aware of the changes in her appearance but we(the more sensible batch of relatives) kept it to ourselves. knowing that my grandmother has always been a person who is relatively concious of her appearance, we kept it down even though we know that she doesn't look as vibrant as she used to, which is of cos, very sad for me to be saying this.

But this relative, who just came back for her vacation had to go and say things like this, "Wah.. why your face so bloated and why your hair like that?"

I was going WHAT THE HECK!

When I heard this, I was so angry! Doesn't she have anything better to say? Spare a thought for another people's feeling can? Does she need to be so expressive? No one will say she stupid if she kept her mouth shut...

I was really heart brokened when my grandmother's reply to her comment was "face bloated means I'm going to die soon..."

I love my grandparents very much mainly because I spent most of my childhood at their place and attended my kindergarten under their care. They always backed me when my cousin bully me, and even when I broke some plates, they will scold my cousin and not me. I really cannot imagine life without them. Looking at them grow old, really scares me. I know one day they will leave me for good, but I really hope that day will never come.

I've mentioned this before, people going overseas or a change of environment is a temporary change. However, once some one pass on, it means you will never see them again. Never... You will never hear them talk to you in that caring tone, asking how's your day and if you have taken your meals... neither would you see them giving you the comforting and familiar smile when you feel down.

Sometimes I really regret coming over to Aussie to study, I'm so far and there's nothing I can do for them. Even when I go back for holidays, I only get to see them on weekends. This is one of my greatest regrets for coming out so far to study. Being a homely person, I should have known better...

I don't wish for more, but I really hope all those people around me stay healthy and live as long as possible. Even if it meant for me to shorten my own life span to make up for those of whom matters to me, I'm really willing to do it.

Posted by Piglet at 10:58 PM

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