Tuesday, November 01, 2005

In 2 weeks time...

life won't be the same anymore...

That's because exams would have ended by then... But now... I'm still in the midst of revision... In laymen's terms... that would mean 'mugging' for exams.

I'm so proud of myself because I manage to stay away from MSN... If you are a regular of msn, you'll probably see me online a lot... I am on MSN as long as I'm awake... It's like I constantly seek communication of any form, else I'll suffocate and die.

That's just me... I just need to talk, to communicate... It doesn't have to be witty and intelligent conversation, but I just need to talk and I don't mind listening.

Anyway, a friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend a few months ago... At first she had sleepless nights and will cry when she thought of him... She will sms him with 'take care', 'how are you?' and send him emails in hope that he will reply and hopefully can remain as friends.

The reason they broke up was because my friend thought the bf couldn't get over his ex-girlfriend. She felt that she was constantly being compared to his ex and she felt mediocre everytime he does it.

She is someone who is very jovial and optimistic before she met him... but after going through all that, she quieten down by half of what she used to be. She said she felt that her morale was low and that she has no more energy to carry on.

She coped with it by sleeping through the day time and lying awake at night and cry. Everytime I see her in class, her eyes are sore... Fortunately, she did not let her studies suffer with her... She was motivated enough to do her assignments and continue to go for classes (sometime... because the school fees are too expensive...).

Despite the fact that she was the one who initiated the break up, she was hopeful that in the far future, they will get back together again. She baked him a cake for his birthday and some muffins for breakfast and sent it all the way down to his place in another suburb that's rather far from where she is now... She even bot him a country road wallet that's close to AUD$100.

Everytime I see her in so much pain and yet continue to do so much for him, I will ask her if it's worth the while... She will look at me and say,"No... but I just want to do it... I'm happy doing things for him. I know that he may not be appreciative of what I've done, but I'm satisfied by just being able to do something for him... I'm living in a fantasy of my own..."

I have asked her what she saw in him, there was no answer from her... but everytime she will say,"I've learnt a lot from him... He has allow me to see myself in a new light, I think I've started to understand myself a lot better now..."

And when I say it's time for her to move on, her reply was,"I am (trying to), but I can't help looking back and stand for awhile to wait and see if he's coming..."

Finally she said, "I won't be looking at another guy for a long long time now... If I can't get him out of my mind, I can't fall in love again..."

I've learnt a lot from her...

There never really is right or wrong when two is in love, what's the use of blaming the other party and victimising yourself? No one will pity you. Most importantly is if you have learn anything about yourself from the relationship? Have you been a jerk without knowing it too? It takes two hands to clap, just as it takes 2 to be in a relationship... Even if someone's gf leave them for someone else, the guy has to ask himself if he has done enough to make her stay or at least learn where he has gone wrong so that he does not repeat the same mistakes again.

It's easy to point a finger at the other party to say he or she is to blame... But how many people can look into the mirror and point at the person staring back at you and say,"I think you are wrong too..." Those who never realise there is anything wrong about themselves and continue to live as those they are perfect and the world owes them a living... It's time to wake up and say 'hi' to the real world...

Posted by Piglet at 11:09 AM

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