Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Current situation...

The next assignment is due on the 22nd of May, which is next Monday... after that, there will be a workshop presentation on the 2nd of June, Friday...

Following that will be my first paper, it's on the 14 of June, and then it will be the 19th of June...

Sometimes, when I am filling up this blog space, thoughts like,"why would anyone want to know about this..." will surface.

Then again, am I blogging, because I want people to read it or am I blogging because it's some where I think I can vent my frustrations or share my joy.

So I've decided that I shouldn't 'commercialise' my blog.

Anyway, as I was walking to the ferry terminal today, I was thinking to myself:

Why is it that when some one famous say something abstract, like,"I can feel the trees embrace me and the sun is jealous because I'm shining..." People will be awed and impressed (I know I didn't say something intelligent... but oh well...). On the other hand, if some Tom, Dick or Harry said the same thing, they will be called - siao...

I've also realise that it's not true that even if you choose not to comment on a controversial topic, you will be spared from a vicious debate. The other party is always out to convince you, unless you are very sure that you can out tactfully out wit them, you can try to challenge their perspective, however, keeping mumb is not necessarily the best thing to do.

Life hasn't been too kind to me these days... I feel like I've hit the rock bottom of the pit... If this is the worst, then I hope it will get better.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm in a dilemma. I want to be heard. I want to tell people what I think and feel, but everytime I attempt to do that, it didn't turn out the way it should be. It's hard not to feel that I should just continue to remain in the shadows. Afterall, I've been in the shadows for so long, what difference does it make?

I don't know how long and how far my patience can be tested.

I still feel that I'll make a better artist than a social worker. Then I can really paint what I feel, even when there's no one who bother to listen to me and the stories I tell, I can release my thoughts and feelings on the canvas.

People tend to interpret words the way they want even when the person who said didn't intended it. So if I were to paint something, rather than having to say it. You can interpret my artwork which ever way you want it. I can't be bothered...

Of cos, now that I'm in the 3rd year of my degree, I can't say I want to drop what I'm doing now and plunge into fine arts. I still have a passion for what I'm doing and hopefully it will push me to finish my degree and find a job where I will stay until I retire.

I need to go home...

Posted by Piglet at 9:51 PM

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